I was born not to be a friendly person. Not even close. I grew up to be an introvert. Thanks to those numerous hours I spent alone back during my childhood years. To me, friends meant the TV, my books about frogs becoming princes and ladies forgetting about their slippers and curfew hours, and the painted green walls of our house. That spelled out FUN for me. And I know, it spelled out ABNORMALITY for other kids of my age. Well, at least, I was sane enough not to have created my own imaginary friend.
But the irony is, I am now a part of a barkada with twenty people in; I can list fifteen people or so as close friends; and I have a Friendster account and accounts in some other social networks on the Net. That could be easily described as a violation to what an introvert is supposed to be, especially on how it is defined in the dictionary. Maybe I really am not. Maybe I only was.
I find it hard, however, to be that friendly to everybody. I always find myself retreating and distancing myself when the environment becomes too much social and cordial for me to handle. I am still the loner I’ve always been. Perhaps because I don’t feel like trusting every person I meet. Like I can’t bear to have them scrutinizing and judging me. Like people are cruel and impersonal and callous. That’s why I was rooted to fairy tale figures who I know were unreal but were so ideal.
When I ceased being introvert, I can’t remember. Perhaps it was when I realized that being aloof and reserved didn’t do any good to me. Maybe that was when I realized that proverbs like ‘No man is an island.’ made much sense that I give it credit for. Or maybe when I started having real, alive, and human friends, rather than non-living entities like my fairy tale books. Or most likely, when finally I learned that there was no really harm in trusting other people. What made me realize this, I honestly don’t know. It felt like it just came out naturally of me – the need to have friends.
Friends. I’ve always found it hard and tedious to describe them. Especially so, that they are just an inch away from being too indescribable and to define what they do to me would not suffice what they truly bring me; it’ll be just an understatement. But now, let me try.
It does feel great to have a friend, to have friends. They make you realize your faults and help you appreciate your triumphs as a person. True, for it was my friends that woke me up from that sluggish dimension I usually envelope myself in. Though sometimes your personalities are as contrasting as oil and water, that link you have acts as an emulsifier that straightens any difference you might have. Like in physics -- opposites attract. They bring you genuine laughter no sitcom could ever give you. They make the best guidance counselors, best solution-givers to most of your troubles. They are the only ones you wouldn’t loathe for telling you how hideous you’ve been, how stupid, how wrong or how foul you are. You hate them for doing that sometimes, but afterwards, love will reign as you know that they have just told you the truth. They understand you even when it does require much effort to do so. They stand by you and not only that actually. They fight for and with you, they cry with and for you, they laugh at, with, and for you, they make themselves stupid for and with you. They are the world’s greatest treasures. Like family. Like beaus.
I don’t believe that soul mates come in the form of prince charmings and love of your life's, they come in the form of partners-in-crime and BFFs.
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This was the first time I ever tried talking, writing about friendship. This one goes out to my bestfriend Brail, Pia, the bestest and worst female friend I can have, (haha), my only JAE, my sis Yanie and in a special way, Kier, whose ideas gave way for this essay.
1 Attention Grabbed:
Hmm. Nice. Labbbit. :D
Sino kaya una nag turo sayong makisama sa ibang tao.
*ahem* :P
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